If I had a cure for cellulite and stretch marks then I would be insanely wealthy and retire comfortably at the ripe old age of fortysomethingsomething *cough*cough*.
Until then, let me tell you a little bit about this condition and why I'm not vacationing with Richard Branson on our own side-by-side personal islands right now.
Everywhere you look there are creams, injections, supplements, office treatments, commercials, SPAM and brochures promising to 'cure' cellulite.
As the saying goes...
"There's a sucker born every minute!"
Well, you won't be that sucker! Not on my watch, sista! (and/or bruthas!)
Allow me to bore you with a little Physiology 101.
In order to understand why some treatments will or won't work we need to understand what we are dealing with.
Cellulite is an alteration in the skin that presents as a sort of "orange peel" or 'dimpling' on the surface of the skin that can vary in degrees of severity. Cellulite doesn't discriminate. You can be Jillian Michaels and still have it!
Cellulite typically appears on the thighs, buttocks and sometimes lower abdomen and upper arms of otherwise healthy women.
Yes, I said WOMEN!
About 85% of women have cellulite vs only about 10% of men. Guys have thicker skin which makes it harder for fat to push its way to the surface. THEY HAVE IT SOOOO EASY! Buncha jerks!
Lets talk about the different kinds of fat. There is one kind of fat that you can pinch an inch or two on your tummy or love handles. That is the fat that is typically treated with Liposuction or alternative noninvasive methods like CoolSculpting. That's not what we are talking about here on this Blog.
Cellulite....picture this...
Just beneath the surface of the skin, in the Dermis, we have a little network of fibrous bands (these are called Septae. Think of them like a honeycomb) that connect our skin to it's underlying tissue. When fat cells become trapped between these bands and start to protrude and bulge upwards ... Viola! Cellulite!
Because these fat cells are trapped in the skin instead of underneath it, liposuction rarely fixes the appearance of cellulite. And in some cases, lipo can make the appearance of cellulite even worse. It's true. Google it ;)
This 'honeycomb' is the genetic makeup of the skin for most every living female on the planet. I can't change the way your skin is made up. Therefore, almost any results you see from treatments or OTC creams/supplements for cellulite is temporary.
Now, I'm going to be brutally, horrifyingly honest.
I HAVE CELLULITE! *SHRIEK!*CLUTCH YOUR PEARLS*
Over the last decade (and then some...) I have tried tons of things.
I tried Mesotherapy (which involved hundreds of microinjections using a solution primarily containing phosphatidycholine. (Talk about painful swelling and bruising! And I saw NO results!)
I have tried VelaSmooth/VelaShape (Painful, expensive, time consuming and only provided temporary results).
I have tried an invasive yet-un-named clinical trial using a cannula and radio frequency. (Results=nada. Unless you count the crazy swelling. That made my cellulite look a little better. Or maybe I was just too distracted by the purple/blackish bruising I HAD FOR WEEKS..Needless to say that little procedure hasn't quite hit the market quite yet)
I have tried body wraps (great if you do it right before an event or beach vacay. But results don't last).
There is also endermologie. I haven't done this but I can't imagine it's really worth it. Not many places even offer it anymore.
Here's the deal. VelaShape, Endermologie etc. etc. all use a massage technique to release those trapped fat cells. You will see a temporary improvement but because *we cannot change the biological make up of your skin...Once you stop treatments you will see the cellulite come back. How quickly it returns has lots of variables. Genetics, lifestyle yada yada yada.
So, is it worth it you to spend a few grand and a few hours per week for short term results? Well, that's something that you have to decide.
I promise you this, though. When and if something comes down the pike that actually works, I will be the first to have it. And I will shout it from the mountaintops like Maria from the Sound of Music!
So, in the meantime, here's a cool little trick of the trade. It will save you a few grand and give you some nice results in a pinch.
Using the same philosophy that massage helps improve the appearance of cellulite..get yourself one of those handheld massagers, the plastic or wooden ones that look like molecules.
You can use this a few different ways. Whatever you find the easiest way to be consistent. BUT, if you are shooting for a specific date or event-start about 3-4 weeks before you need to look your best.
A) You can use it in the shower. For instance, when you are all lathered up and conditioning your hair, use the massager on each upper thigh, booty, arms, wherever and massage away for about 5 minutes on each area.
B) You can use this with a nice body firming cream. I use it at night while I'm laying in bed (not sexy but I know if it's on my nightstand, I will do it) for about 5-10 minutes on each leg.
A body cream containing caffeine works great as it is a diuretic and helps flush those fat cells. I will warn you, one or two patients used a caffeine body cream at night and had trouble sleeping (anything applied topically bypasses the GI tract and absorbs directly into the bloodstream. If you are sensitive to caffeine then either use it in the AM or just find a nice firming cream without this ingredient.)
Also - Eat healthy! Drink Your Water! Work Out! Take care of yourself! It matters!
Then use all that money I just saved you on something SPECTACULAR for yourself! (I know you've been eyeballing that pair of shoes!)
That's all I got!
HOW OLD YOU ARE IS YOUR BUSINESS, HOW OLD YOU LOOK IS OURS.
Peace, Love and Sweet Dreams of Benedict Cumberbatch
(Those cheekbones, those lips, those mischievous eyes and that impish grin.. *swoon*)
Sorry, he carries me away...
Michelle, Nancy and Laurie
THE SKIN GURUS
This is good advice but what about sagging skin? My skin was starting to sag a little on the back on my legs and back but since I quit having my period my skin seems to have gotten much worse. What do you suggest?
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